I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
