if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize