I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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