I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
