you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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