I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
