the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
