My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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