Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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