walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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