I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
