the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
