I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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