How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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