Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
