I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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