singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize