apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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