Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
