I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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