Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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