Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
