so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
