my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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