she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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