we're blogging at a bar
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
