I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.