I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you