you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
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I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
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you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood