Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during

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  (919): I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during http://tfl.nu/dav8
  Replies (21) Good night (3522) Bad night (688)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.

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  (903): The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while. http://tfl.nu/y23x
  Replies (21) Good night (7517) Bad night (1921)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?

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  (512): Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it? http://tfl.nu/y99r
  Replies (14) Good night (1024) Bad night (4289)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.

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  (605): For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell. http://tfl.nu/5mii
  Replies (7) Good night (3558) Bad night (1629)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.

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  (202): you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry. http://tfl.nu/e7cu
  Replies (9) Good night (7478) Bad night (1163)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex

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  (985): Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex http://tfl.nu/n4wf
  Replies (4) Good night (1610) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up

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  (514): she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up http://tfl.nu/zucc
  Replies (10) Good night (2155) Bad night (1088)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?

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  (806): Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight? http://tfl.nu/jadi
  Replies (6) Good night (3214) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.

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  (208): if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that. http://tfl.nu/41po
  Replies (3) Good night (2252) Bad night (832)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid

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  (615): I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid http://tfl.nu/n6y8
  Replies (2) Good night (694) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"

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  (801): He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick" http://tfl.nu/sbhu
  Replies (6) Good night (496) Bad night (975)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night

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  (585): Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night http://tfl.nu/8kd0
  Replies (2) Good night (510) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You are living the dream.

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  (617): The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent (603): You are living the dream. http://tfl.nu/ydgw
  Replies (5) Good night (1301) Bad night (426)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  omg his dad is hot

  (410): View more from Maryland

  ... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.

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  (412): omg his dad is hot (410): ... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives. http://tfl.nu/revq
  Replies (1) Good night (673) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.

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  (812): Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me. http://tfl.nu/oqrx
  Replies (0) Good night (249) Bad night (394)

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