It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning