i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive