Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
