Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You made out with two different species that night
He better not be in your backpack
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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