Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.

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  (858): ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me. http://tfl.nu/yno6
  Replies (4) Good night (2553) Bad night (810)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.

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  (267): Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids. http://tfl.nu/vgjd
  Replies (33) Good night (5851) Bad night (956)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money

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  (570): I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money http://tfl.nu/ayme
  Replies (40) Good night (4274) Bad night (940)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.

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  (206): Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun. http://tfl.nu/3gwj
  Replies (39) Good night (11892) Bad night (895)
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  (607): View more from New York

  i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th

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  (607): i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th http://tfl.nu/g8vn
  Replies (13) Good night (4280) Bad night (803)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore

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  (203): So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore http://tfl.nu/h83b
  Replies (11) Good night (897) Bad night (5361)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.

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  (201): Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied. http://tfl.nu/g4t4
  Replies (8) Good night (3910) Bad night (915)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.

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  (440): If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times. http://tfl.nu/5360
  Replies (2) Good night (3510) Bad night (724)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy

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  (785): Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy http://tfl.nu/oyu4
  Replies (10) Good night (2616) Bad night (946)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.

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  (720): July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions. http://tfl.nu/elfr
  Replies (1) Good night (1040) Bad night (1455)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out

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  (757): I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures... (757): I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out http://tfl.nu/xej3
  Replies (6) Good night (2421) Bad night (693)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.

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  (503): I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work. http://tfl.nu/c4w1
  Replies (4) Good night (1255) Bad night (507)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Circle of life?

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  (228): Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life. (601): Circle of life? http://tfl.nu/blw3
  Replies (1) Good night (466) Bad night (989)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!

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  (412): i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt! http://tfl.nu/8lpp
  Replies (5) Good night (788) Bad night (375)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.

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  (317): I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me. http://tfl.nu/crpx
  Replies (2) Good night (533) Bad night (148)

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