Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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