i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
