Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm both gender and math confused
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