Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
