its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
