It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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