Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
