My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
