Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
