So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
