ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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