If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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