spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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