I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
