The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
