Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
