We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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