11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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