those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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