a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Did you just see the Batmobile???
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
