the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize