I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
