I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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