ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I need to calm my uterus...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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