On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
