I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I can't turn off my feet"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
