Too much gin, very little bucket
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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