I don't think brook has ever known best
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
There's even glitter on my cock...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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