I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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