Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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