Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
